Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize