I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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