she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
