ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
