Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
