It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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