It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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