Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
