Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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