Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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