You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
