I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
