I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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