I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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