Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
