I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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