I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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