Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
