Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
And then my night got REAL pukey
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
