butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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