So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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