Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize