Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
