Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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