Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
