? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
it hurts more in the daytime
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just want to make out with him forever
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
