Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
