If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
