She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
