And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
