quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
