remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
