I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
