Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
