Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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