Plan B is the new Plan A
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize