If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It's blow job season.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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