if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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