Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
