And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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