How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize
