Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
id be glad to
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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