I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
