this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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