my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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