"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
