explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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