she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
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