First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
