she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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