i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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