so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
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