I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
