Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
