the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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