dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
