No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
she woke up with a sticky ear
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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