As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
