Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
My liver just had a heart attack.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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