I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I wear drunk well.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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