I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
