That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
