I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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