Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
