I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
