i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
