I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
