Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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